No more lists

We sit back and we make plans. We imagine how our life is going to be when we're older. We set short goals, make lists, evaluate parts of our life we can work on and change. We live on hope. Hope that all of the things we've ever wanted, we one day will. But I've found that it doesn't matter how many plans you make, how many lists you have to complete, life is going to happen exactly the way it is supposed to. We are going to lose the people we care the most about. We are going to come across some of the hardest decisions we will ever be faced with. We are going to have to learn to live with what we thought we couldn't. My life has never been about finding happiness; it's been about learning to overcome whatever obstacle I was going to be faced with next. One moment can change everything. I can't be hostile or bitter at the world for the struggles I am faced with. I find amusement in them, as I wonder what lies at the end of this road for me. As I sit here, I am filled with thankfulness instead, that I now know that my life is headed in a different direction. I never thought I'd ever be able to rely on myself as much as I do, but I've become my own best friend, and I've come to welcome all of my demons with the same kind of love.